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[title] => Svi pričaju o trudničkoj kolumni Emily Ratajkowski: Nemam pojma tko mi je u trbuhu, bojim se imati sina. Moja iskustva s njima bila su traumatična...
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Slavna manekenka Emily Ratajkowski, koju svi poznajemo iz videospota za megahit Blurred Lines u izvođenju Robina Thickea i Pharrella, ali i kao ženu koju na Instagramu prati 26 milijuna ljudi, u Vogueu je objavila intrigantnu kolumnu, čiji su sadržaj prenijeli svi svjetski mediji.
Dvadesetdevetogodišnja Emily, kao što je poznato, sa suprugom, 39-godišnjim glumcem i producentom Sebastianom Bear McClardom očekuje dijete, a kolumnu je posvetila trudnoći, majčinstvu, spolu djeteta.
- Kad prijateljima kažemo da sam trudna, nakon 'čestitam', gotovo svi nas pitaju što bismo radije željeli - dječaka ili djevojčicu? Uvijek im odgovorimo da spol nećemo znati dok naše dijete ne napuni 18 godina, tad će nas ono samo obavijestiti o tome.
Kakvoj ćemo osobi postati roditelji?
Svi se na to uglavnom nasmiju, ali prava je istina da u konačnici zbilja nemamo pojma tko raste u mom trbuhu. Tko će biti ta osoba? Kakvoj ćemo osobi mi postati roditelji? Stvari su puno složenije od definiranja genitalija s kojima bi se beba mogla roditi.
Svom djetetu ne želim nametati nikakve rodne stereotipe. Razumijem zašto ljudi žele znati spol fetusa, to im je prva prava prilika da uvide tko bi to novo biće moglo biti...
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Kao mlađa, uvijek sam nekako automatski zamišljala da ću imati kćer. Kad o tome pričam sa svojom terapeutkinjom, ona mi objasni da je to relativno često - jer mnogi ljudi pomoću djece žele 'popraviti' vlastito djetinjstvo, žele popraviti sebe i svoje traume pokušavajući ponovno s mini verzijom sebe.
Iskreno, sad više nisam toliko sigurna da želim djevojčicu - i muž je zabrinut, boji se da će nam kći biti pod (pre)velikim pritiskom odrastajući u društvu u kojem sad živimo...
Sjetim se vlastite majke, kako sam uz nju već kao trogodišnjakinja naučila što znači ljubomora - jer vidjela sam kako su kolegice ljubomorne na nju, vidjela sam kako se ljepota može izjednačiti s moći...
Žene se neprestano uspoređuju
Razmišljam o tome kako se žene neprestano uspoređuju i zabrinuta sam - i sama se i dalje borim s podsviješću i internaliziranom mizoginijom pa se s razlogom pitam - hoću li moći zaštititi svoju kćer od toga?
Suprug voli reći da smo 'mi trudni'. Iako zvuči slatko, to je daleko od istine. Negodujem jer je DNK cijele njegove obitelji u meni, ali moj DNK nije u njemu. 'To mi se čini nepravedno', kažem mu i oboje se nasmijemo.
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Trudnoća je urođeno usamljena, to je nešto što žena radi sama, u svom tijelu, bez obzira na okolnosti.
Razmišljam o mužu i pitam se žudi li potajno za dječakom? Kad ga pitam, odbija mi dati odgovor, kune se da mu je svejedno hoćemo li dobiti sina ili kćer.
Ali jedne nedjelje, dok je gledao nogomet, komentirao je kako bi bilo zabavno imati dječaka s kojim bi mogao pratiti utakmice.
'Ali i djevojke gledaju nogomet!', uzvraćam.
On slegne ramenima i nasmije se.
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'Ako i rodim sina, definitivno ne želim da igra nogomet', kažem mu dok mi se u glavi vrte sve moguće sportske ozljede i grubosti...
Šokantno je shvatiti
Iskreno, bojim se imati sina. Poznajem previše bijelaca koji se kreću svijetom nesvjesni svojih privilegija, a i mnoga moja iskustva s njima bila su traumatična.
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Osim toga, šokantno je shvatiti u kolikoj mjeri mladi dječaci stječu osjećaj prava - na tijela djevojčica, ali i svijet općenito. Kako odgojiti dijete koje će naučiti voljeti sebe, a istovremeno ga ispravno podučiti o njegovu položaju i raspodjeli moći u svijetu - pita se Emily u Vogueovoj kolumni.
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Slavna manekenka Emily Ratajkowski, koju svi poznajemo iz videospota za megahit Blurred Lines u izvođenju Robina Thickea i Pharrella, ali i kao ženu koju na Instagramu prati 26 milijuna ljudi, u Vogueu je objavila intrigantnu kolumnu, čiji su sadržaj prenijeli svi svjetski mediji.
Dvadesetdevetogodišnja Emily, kao što je poznato, sa suprugom, 39-godišnjim glumcem i producentom Sebastianom Bear McClardom očekuje dijete, a kolumnu je posvetila trudnoći, majčinstvu, spolu djeteta.
- Kad prijateljima kažemo da sam trudna, nakon 'čestitam', gotovo svi nas pitaju što bismo radije željeli - dječaka ili djevojčicu? Uvijek im odgovorimo da spol nećemo znati dok naše dijete ne napuni 18 godina, tad će nas ono samo obavijestiti o tome.
Kakvoj ćemo osobi postati roditelji?
Svi se na to uglavnom nasmiju, ali prava je istina da u konačnici zbilja nemamo pojma tko raste u mom trbuhu. Tko će biti ta osoba? Kakvoj ćemo osobi mi postati roditelji? Stvari su puno složenije od definiranja genitalija s kojima bi se beba mogla roditi.
Svom djetetu ne želim nametati nikakve rodne stereotipe. Razumijem zašto ljudi žele znati spol fetusa, to im je prva prava prilika da uvide tko bi to novo biće moglo biti...
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Kao mlađa, uvijek sam nekako automatski zamišljala da ću imati kćer. Kad o tome pričam sa svojom terapeutkinjom, ona mi objasni da je to relativno često - jer mnogi ljudi pomoću djece žele 'popraviti' vlastito djetinjstvo, žele popraviti sebe i svoje traume pokušavajući ponovno s mini verzijom sebe.
Iskreno, sad više nisam toliko sigurna da želim djevojčicu - i muž je zabrinut, boji se da će nam kći biti pod (pre)velikim pritiskom odrastajući u društvu u kojem sad živimo...
Sjetim se vlastite majke, kako sam uz nju već kao trogodišnjakinja naučila što znači ljubomora - jer vidjela sam kako su kolegice ljubomorne na nju, vidjela sam kako se ljepota može izjednačiti s moći...
Žene se neprestano uspoređuju
Razmišljam o tome kako se žene neprestano uspoređuju i zabrinuta sam - i sama se i dalje borim s podsviješću i internaliziranom mizoginijom pa se s razlogom pitam - hoću li moći zaštititi svoju kćer od toga?
Suprug voli reći da smo 'mi trudni'. Iako zvuči slatko, to je daleko od istine. Negodujem jer je DNK cijele njegove obitelji u meni, ali moj DNK nije u njemu. 'To mi se čini nepravedno', kažem mu i oboje se nasmijemo.
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Trudnoća je urođeno usamljena, to je nešto što žena radi sama, u svom tijelu, bez obzira na okolnosti.
Razmišljam o mužu i pitam se žudi li potajno za dječakom? Kad ga pitam, odbija mi dati odgovor, kune se da mu je svejedno hoćemo li dobiti sina ili kćer.
Ali jedne nedjelje, dok je gledao nogomet, komentirao je kako bi bilo zabavno imati dječaka s kojim bi mogao pratiti utakmice.
'Ali i djevojke gledaju nogomet!', uzvraćam.
On slegne ramenima i nasmije se.
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'Ako i rodim sina, definitivno ne želim da igra nogomet', kažem mu dok mi se u glavi vrte sve moguće sportske ozljede i grubosti...
Šokantno je shvatiti
Iskreno, bojim se imati sina. Poznajem previše bijelaca koji se kreću svijetom nesvjesni svojih privilegija, a i mnoga moja iskustva s njima bila su traumatična.
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Osim toga, šokantno je shvatiti u kolikoj mjeri mladi dječaci stječu osjećaj prava - na tijela djevojčica, ali i svijet općenito. Kako odgojiti dijete koje će naučiti voljeti sebe, a istovremeno ga ispravno podučiti o njegovu položaju i raspodjeli moći u svijetu - pita se Emily u Vogueovoj kolumni.
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16. svibanj 2024 04:53
