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[title] => Ante Tomić: Da su Klepetan i Malena u Danskoj, sve bi civilizirano završilo, ali kod nas na Balkanu postoji samo jedan način
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Došao je običaj u našim novinama svake godine u ovo doba čekati da se mužjak jedne rode, nazvan Klepetan, iz dalekih južnih krajeva vrati ženki Malenoj, što ga strpljivo čeka u gnijezdu na jednom slavonskom krovu.
Svake godine djevojke zaneseno uzdišu kako im je to lijepo, da je jedna ptica preletjela beskrajnu udaljenost da bi se vratila drugoj, upravo kao Odisej svojoj Penelopi.
Odanost ove dvije životinje neodoljivo je romantična, kao što je monogamija inače romantična. Da nema monogamije ne bi uopće bilo romantike, prenosi Jutarnji list.
No, monogamija s vremena na vrijeme otkrije svoju tamnu stranu koja baš i nije romantična. Pamtite li kako je to s Odisejem završilo. Kad se itački kralj poslije dugogodišnjih šalabazanja vratio na rodni otok i našao da mu se oko žene motaju nekakvi besramni prosci, on ih je bez mnogo premišljanja do jednoga poubijao.
Tako je to oduvijek ovdje u nas na Balkanu, od Grka Odiseja sve do Bosanca Bećira Kuduza, koji je ženu lijepo, navrijeme upozorio: "A znaš li ti da se ja ne mislim dvaput ženit?", a ona jadna nije shvatila poantu i onda cijeli belaj ispao.
Drzne li se tkogod dirnuti u tuđeg partnera ili partnericu, to neizbježno završi u neobuzdanom gnjevu i nasilju s policijom, socijalnim službama i bolničarkama koje krvavih ruku bespomoćno viču: "Doktore! Doktore, gubimo ga!"
Jednako je bilo i s ovim slavonskim rodama, kad je Klepetan zbog nečega nekoliko dana kasnio iz južnih krajeva, a Malena našla drugoga. Gnjevni je ptičiji Odisej prvo izbacio i izlemao uljeza, a zatim i razbio jaje koje je ženka snijela s njim. Ljubavni je trokut okrutno okončan prije nego je pravo i zaživio, ali ne vrijedi se zgražati zbog toga.
Da su to bile nekakve danske rode, ili da je gnijezdo bilo na kakvom rotterdamskom dimnjaku, ptice bi se vjerojatno civilizirano sporazumijele. Mužjak i ženka i njezin ljubavnik bi zrelo razgovarali, otišli bi bračnom savjetniku, ili na tečaj kontrole bijesa, ili kupili bojanku za odrasle... i sve bi se mirno završilo.
Ali, ovdje u nas na Balkanu, od antike do danas, i među ljudima i među rodama, romantični nesporazumi završavaju samo na jedan način - kad te moja čakija ubode, ne treba ti ni ljeba ni vode.
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Došao je običaj u našim novinama svake godine u ovo doba čekati da se mužjak jedne rode, nazvan Klepetan, iz dalekih južnih krajeva vrati ženki Malenoj, što ga strpljivo čeka u gnijezdu na jednom slavonskom krovu.
Svake godine djevojke zaneseno uzdišu kako im je to lijepo, da je jedna ptica preletjela beskrajnu udaljenost da bi se vratila drugoj, upravo kao Odisej svojoj Penelopi.
Odanost ove dvije životinje neodoljivo je romantična, kao što je monogamija inače romantična. Da nema monogamije ne bi uopće bilo romantike, prenosi Jutarnji list.
No, monogamija s vremena na vrijeme otkrije svoju tamnu stranu koja baš i nije romantična. Pamtite li kako je to s Odisejem završilo. Kad se itački kralj poslije dugogodišnjih šalabazanja vratio na rodni otok i našao da mu se oko žene motaju nekakvi besramni prosci, on ih je bez mnogo premišljanja do jednoga poubijao.
Tako je to oduvijek ovdje u nas na Balkanu, od Grka Odiseja sve do Bosanca Bećira Kuduza, koji je ženu lijepo, navrijeme upozorio: "A znaš li ti da se ja ne mislim dvaput ženit?", a ona jadna nije shvatila poantu i onda cijeli belaj ispao.
Drzne li se tkogod dirnuti u tuđeg partnera ili partnericu, to neizbježno završi u neobuzdanom gnjevu i nasilju s policijom, socijalnim službama i bolničarkama koje krvavih ruku bespomoćno viču: "Doktore! Doktore, gubimo ga!"
Jednako je bilo i s ovim slavonskim rodama, kad je Klepetan zbog nečega nekoliko dana kasnio iz južnih krajeva, a Malena našla drugoga. Gnjevni je ptičiji Odisej prvo izbacio i izlemao uljeza, a zatim i razbio jaje koje je ženka snijela s njim. Ljubavni je trokut okrutno okončan prije nego je pravo i zaživio, ali ne vrijedi se zgražati zbog toga.
Da su to bile nekakve danske rode, ili da je gnijezdo bilo na kakvom rotterdamskom dimnjaku, ptice bi se vjerojatno civilizirano sporazumijele. Mužjak i ženka i njezin ljubavnik bi zrelo razgovarali, otišli bi bračnom savjetniku, ili na tečaj kontrole bijesa, ili kupili bojanku za odrasle... i sve bi se mirno završilo.
Ali, ovdje u nas na Balkanu, od antike do danas, i među ljudima i među rodama, romantični nesporazumi završavaju samo na jedan način - kad te moja čakija ubode, ne treba ti ni ljeba ni vode.
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12. svibanj 2024 18:40
