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[title] => Stalno negdje kasnite? Evo zašto se, prema riječima stručnjaka ne možete riješiti ove gadne navike koja nerijetko ‘poljuljava‘ odnose
[alias] => stalno-negdje-kasnite-evo-zasto-se-prema-rijecima-strucnjaka-ne-mozete-rijesiti-ove-gadne-navike-koja-nerijetko-poljuljava-odnose
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Svi mi poznajemo ili smo jedna od onih osoba koje uvijek kasne. Ova navika, iako se subjektivno doima bezazlenom, često može dati dojam da nekoga ne poštujete - što dugoročno može uzrokovati i trzavice u odnosima. Ali, jeste li se ikada zapitali zašto se to nekim ljudima događa stalno?
- Mislim da razlog za kašnjenje najčešće nije to što ljudi ne mare za tuđe osjećaje ili nekog namjerno žele iznervirati. Neki su ljudi jednostavno rođeni optimisti i iskreno vjeruju da mogu upravljati svojim užurbanim rasporedima, što znači da će uvijek kasniti na nešto, tvrdi psihoterapeutkinja specijalizirana za kognitivnu bihevioralnu terapiju, Somia Zaman.
Također je moguće da, ako su ti isti optimisti društveni i pričljivi ljudi, njihovi sastanci i dogovori traju duže od planiranog - zbog čega kasne na sljedeće obveze, piše Radio Sarajevo.
- Nekim je ljudima pak problem reći ne, bojeći se da bi nekoga mogli uvrijediti ili propustiti važnu priliku, pa su njihovi nerealni planovi više odraz njihovih briga, dodaje Zaman.
Neki su jednostavno prihvatili kašnjenje kao dio svoje osobnosti, zbog čega može doći do ‘samoispunjavajućeg proročanstva‘:
- Neki su kašnjenje utkali u osobni brend i više ni ne osjećaju potrebu pokušati doći na vrijeme, jer nitko to od njih ni ne očekuje, a najmanje oni sami, kaže psihologinja. Zbog toga - ni ne dođu.
Što nas navede na ovakvo ponašanje?
Prema riječima psihoterapeutkinje Geraldine Joaquim, svi različito reagiramo na interna i eksterna očekivanja koja nam se postavljaju: - Neki ljudi ispunjavaju svoja unutarnja očekivanja bolje od vanjskih očekivanja (koja im postavljaju drugi, posao, društvo itd.), tvrdi i dodaje da kada ljudi prioritiziraju ispunjavanje svojih unutarnjih očekivanja, često kasne zbog navedenog.
- To nije nepristojnost niti čak svjesni proces razmišljanja, oni se često trude biti točni i uopće ne vole kasniti pa se često i živciraju zašto je promet kakav je, više puta javljaju da stižu i slično, potvrđuje Joaquim.
Uzrok leži, kao i za sve, u djetinjstvu
Ponekad dijete oponaša svoje roditelje, a ponekad se trudi da mu je ponašanje totalno suprotno od njihovog.
- Točni ljudi također često dijele formativno iskustvo svojih zaposlenih roditelja, vođenih punim rasporedom i uvijek u pokretu – tako da će i dijete biti spremno dolaziti na vrijeme i tako pokazivati svoju ljubav i poštovanje, tvrdi stručnjakinja za upravljanje vremenom i direktorica The One Moment Društva, Carmel Moore.
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Svi mi poznajemo ili smo jedna od onih osoba koje uvijek kasne. Ova navika, iako se subjektivno doima bezazlenom, često može dati dojam da nekoga ne poštujete - što dugoročno može uzrokovati i trzavice u odnosima. Ali, jeste li se ikada zapitali zašto se to nekim ljudima događa stalno?
- Mislim da razlog za kašnjenje najčešće nije to što ljudi ne mare za tuđe osjećaje ili nekog namjerno žele iznervirati. Neki su ljudi jednostavno rođeni optimisti i iskreno vjeruju da mogu upravljati svojim užurbanim rasporedima, što znači da će uvijek kasniti na nešto, tvrdi psihoterapeutkinja specijalizirana za kognitivnu bihevioralnu terapiju, Somia Zaman.
Također je moguće da, ako su ti isti optimisti društveni i pričljivi ljudi, njihovi sastanci i dogovori traju duže od planiranog - zbog čega kasne na sljedeće obveze, piše Radio Sarajevo.
- Nekim je ljudima pak problem reći ne, bojeći se da bi nekoga mogli uvrijediti ili propustiti važnu priliku, pa su njihovi nerealni planovi više odraz njihovih briga, dodaje Zaman.
Neki su jednostavno prihvatili kašnjenje kao dio svoje osobnosti, zbog čega može doći do ‘samoispunjavajućeg proročanstva‘:
- Neki su kašnjenje utkali u osobni brend i više ni ne osjećaju potrebu pokušati doći na vrijeme, jer nitko to od njih ni ne očekuje, a najmanje oni sami, kaže psihologinja. Zbog toga - ni ne dođu.
Što nas navede na ovakvo ponašanje?
Prema riječima psihoterapeutkinje Geraldine Joaquim, svi različito reagiramo na interna i eksterna očekivanja koja nam se postavljaju: - Neki ljudi ispunjavaju svoja unutarnja očekivanja bolje od vanjskih očekivanja (koja im postavljaju drugi, posao, društvo itd.), tvrdi i dodaje da kada ljudi prioritiziraju ispunjavanje svojih unutarnjih očekivanja, često kasne zbog navedenog.
- To nije nepristojnost niti čak svjesni proces razmišljanja, oni se često trude biti točni i uopće ne vole kasniti pa se često i živciraju zašto je promet kakav je, više puta javljaju da stižu i slično, potvrđuje Joaquim.
Uzrok leži, kao i za sve, u djetinjstvu
Ponekad dijete oponaša svoje roditelje, a ponekad se trudi da mu je ponašanje totalno suprotno od njihovog.
- Točni ljudi također često dijele formativno iskustvo svojih zaposlenih roditelja, vođenih punim rasporedom i uvijek u pokretu – tako da će i dijete biti spremno dolaziti na vrijeme i tako pokazivati svoju ljubav i poštovanje, tvrdi stručnjakinja za upravljanje vremenom i direktorica The One Moment Društva, Carmel Moore.
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11. svibanj 2024 20:21
