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[title] => Priča samohrane majke: Ono kad se zapitaš jesi li ikada donio ijednu pravu odluku, i je li ovaj život mogao biti bolji
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Na portalu ringeraja.rs jedna je samohrana majka podijelila svoju priču. Pročitajte njeno iskustvo:
‘Svi smo to prošli, sigurna sam u to. Vrijedili smo onoliko koliko su nas drugi procjenjivali, ponašali se kako smo mislili da moramo – da bismo bili prihvaćeni. Jer činjenica je da same majke nisu uvijek i svugdje prihvaćene i shvaćene.
Krenimo od početka.
Ja sam samohrana majka. Kako mi je taj naziv uvijek bio jako ružan, jednog sam lijepog dana odlučila postati Supermama.
Jer takve su i same majke, supermame s mnogo ruku koje sve rade same.
I zato što zvuči ljepše i snažnije od uobičajenog izraza samohrana majka.
Dakle, igrom slučaja postala sam Supermama. Danas, da me netko pita – što bih radila da sam mogla birati prije 6 godina – ne znam bih li radije odgajala dijete s partnerom ili sama.
Ne, nije kiselo grožđe. Već šest godina funkcioniram kao indijsko božanstvo Shiva (s osam ruku) i činjenica je da sam se navikla na takav način roditeljstva. Sve odluke donosim sama i iza njih stojim. Ne moram nikoga pitati za dopuštenje ili pomoć. Doduše, obično ne mogu računati na pomoć. Sve planiram kao da sam prepuštena sama sebi, a najčešće i jesam.
Je li bilo lako? Ne, uopće.
Osjećala sam se napušteno i bespomoćno.
To je boljelo.
Svakoga boli kada konačno vidi istinu i shvati da je potpuno drugačija od istine u koju je vjerovao
taj osjećaj straha
tuga
usamljenost
Sigurna sam, znam da nisam jedina koja je prošla kroz ovo,
ali nisam to htjela pokazati.
Od svih sam skrivala tjeskobu, nemoć, usamljenost.
Sakrivala sam se iza obaveza, hodala uzdignute glave i pravila se da mi je život pod kontrolom.
Plakala bih noću dok mi dijete spava, pa nije čulo.
Nitko me nije smio vidjeti zaraženu, skrivala sam se iza šminke i stava "jaka sam i neovisna".
Pretresla sam svoj život, svoje postupke, svoje pogreške milijun puta u glavi.
Sumnjala sam u vlastitu inteligenciju i na kraju preispitivala vlastitu vrijednost.
Onaj trenutak kad se zapitaš jesi li ikada donio i jednu pravu odluku i je li ovaj jedan život mogao biti drugačiji, bolji, vrjedniji
Svi smo to prošli, sigurna sam u to. Vrijedili smo onoliko koliko su nas drugi procjenjivali, ponašali se kako smo mislili da moramo – da bismo bili prihvaćeni.
Jer činjenica je da same majke nisu uvijek i svugdje prihvaćene i shvaćene.
Činjenica je da ovo naše društvo i dalje očekuje i pita – “gdje je otac” iza žene s djetetom.
Činjenica je da zbog takvog stava, zbog takvog odnosa, same majke provode godine u samopreispitivanju i potiskivanju svega što im smeta.
Ja sam bio jedan od tih ljudi.
A istina je sljedeća:
Život ne daje nikakva jamstva da će biti lak, lijep, pa čak ni normalan.
Bit će što bude, ludo, tužno, nevjerojatno, dosadno, fantastično.
Bit će kako mi odlučimo i nikako drugačije. Jer nitko, osim nas samih, nema pravo suditi o našem životu, našim neuspjesima, našoj sreći ili nesreći.
Vrijedimo onoliko koliko odlučimo da vrijedimo.
A mi ćemo živjeti kako odlučimo. Potišteno ili – uspravano.
Svatko od nas je izuzetno vrijedno ljudsko biće:
Važni su naši stavovi, jer ovakvi kakvi jesmo, odgajamo male ljude i vodimo ih kroz život
A mi zaslužujemo najbolje, zaslužujemo poštovanje i pažnju koju nam nitko, ali baš nitko, nema pravo uskratiti.‘
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Na portalu ringeraja.rs jedna je samohrana majka podijelila svoju priču. Pročitajte njeno iskustvo:
‘Svi smo to prošli, sigurna sam u to. Vrijedili smo onoliko koliko su nas drugi procjenjivali, ponašali se kako smo mislili da moramo – da bismo bili prihvaćeni. Jer činjenica je da same majke nisu uvijek i svugdje prihvaćene i shvaćene.
Krenimo od početka.
Ja sam samohrana majka. Kako mi je taj naziv uvijek bio jako ružan, jednog sam lijepog dana odlučila postati Supermama.
Jer takve su i same majke, supermame s mnogo ruku koje sve rade same.
I zato što zvuči ljepše i snažnije od uobičajenog izraza samohrana majka.
Dakle, igrom slučaja postala sam Supermama. Danas, da me netko pita – što bih radila da sam mogla birati prije 6 godina – ne znam bih li radije odgajala dijete s partnerom ili sama.
Ne, nije kiselo grožđe. Već šest godina funkcioniram kao indijsko božanstvo Shiva (s osam ruku) i činjenica je da sam se navikla na takav način roditeljstva. Sve odluke donosim sama i iza njih stojim. Ne moram nikoga pitati za dopuštenje ili pomoć. Doduše, obično ne mogu računati na pomoć. Sve planiram kao da sam prepuštena sama sebi, a najčešće i jesam.
Je li bilo lako? Ne, uopće.
Osjećala sam se napušteno i bespomoćno.
To je boljelo.
Svakoga boli kada konačno vidi istinu i shvati da je potpuno drugačija od istine u koju je vjerovao
taj osjećaj straha
tuga
usamljenost
Sigurna sam, znam da nisam jedina koja je prošla kroz ovo,
ali nisam to htjela pokazati.
Od svih sam skrivala tjeskobu, nemoć, usamljenost.
Sakrivala sam se iza obaveza, hodala uzdignute glave i pravila se da mi je život pod kontrolom.
Plakala bih noću dok mi dijete spava, pa nije čulo.
Nitko me nije smio vidjeti zaraženu, skrivala sam se iza šminke i stava "jaka sam i neovisna".
Pretresla sam svoj život, svoje postupke, svoje pogreške milijun puta u glavi.
Sumnjala sam u vlastitu inteligenciju i na kraju preispitivala vlastitu vrijednost.
Onaj trenutak kad se zapitaš jesi li ikada donio i jednu pravu odluku i je li ovaj jedan život mogao biti drugačiji, bolji, vrjedniji
Svi smo to prošli, sigurna sam u to. Vrijedili smo onoliko koliko su nas drugi procjenjivali, ponašali se kako smo mislili da moramo – da bismo bili prihvaćeni.
Jer činjenica je da same majke nisu uvijek i svugdje prihvaćene i shvaćene.
Činjenica je da ovo naše društvo i dalje očekuje i pita – “gdje je otac” iza žene s djetetom.
Činjenica je da zbog takvog stava, zbog takvog odnosa, same majke provode godine u samopreispitivanju i potiskivanju svega što im smeta.
Ja sam bio jedan od tih ljudi.
A istina je sljedeća:
Život ne daje nikakva jamstva da će biti lak, lijep, pa čak ni normalan.
Bit će što bude, ludo, tužno, nevjerojatno, dosadno, fantastično.
Bit će kako mi odlučimo i nikako drugačije. Jer nitko, osim nas samih, nema pravo suditi o našem životu, našim neuspjesima, našoj sreći ili nesreći.
Vrijedimo onoliko koliko odlučimo da vrijedimo.
A mi ćemo živjeti kako odlučimo. Potišteno ili – uspravano.
Svatko od nas je izuzetno vrijedno ljudsko biće:
Važni su naši stavovi, jer ovakvi kakvi jesmo, odgajamo male ljude i vodimo ih kroz život
A mi zaslužujemo najbolje, zaslužujemo poštovanje i pažnju koju nam nitko, ali baš nitko, nema pravo uskratiti.‘
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14. svibanj 2024 17:45
