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[title] => ‘Tjedna doza‘ Silvane Uzinić: Ljudi su se počeli vladat‘ ka mravi kad odaju organizirano u potragu za hranom... Srića da nam ne fali i zidića!
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Zašto danas nemamo ručka, zašto je sve u kući ostalo na po posla?
- Kako to misliš?
- Pa isto ka da je udrija zračni napad. Ostaviše sve i nastade bežanija. Usisivač na hodniku, daska za peglanje posred sobe, dvi gomile robe za pranje...
- Aaaa to. A čuj, sutra će kiša.
- Kiša?
- E. Šta gledaš tupo u mene? Čim je sunce provirilo trkala san ka luda na Rivu.
Gospođe s unučićima
Ovo mi prepričava prijateljica obiteljski skeč kad smo se trefile u šetnji. Pola naroda šta sam srela govori isto. Sutra će kiša, brale, dobro smo izletili. Splićani masovno izašli na sunce, posli se traže u fotogalerijama po portalima. Puni su zidići, na Prokurativama dica igraju balun ka prije pola stoljeća, skejteri skaču po Đardinu, Koteksu, isprid Jokera. Štekati u lancima kao roblje stisnuti, po njima i ispod njih ispražnjene zgužvane kartonske čaše i plastični poklopci, opušci, slamke... Uz more teku rijeke šetača, tamo amo, cvrkuću djeca, biciklisti zveckaju da im se makneš s puta ili ti samo prolete kraj ramena ka tajfun.
- E, jes nas vidija, stožer ovo, stožer ono, a ljudi se počeli vladat ka mravi kad ono odaju organizirano u potragu za hranom. Mi svi ka bez mozga na one prozore s kavom u koloni, razmilimo se okolo, a onda opet navečer u rupe...
- Ima li ičega navečer po gradu? Jooo, da je izać negdi.
- Ima. Koncert u Tončićevoj.
- Izvrsno.
- Ma šta izvrsno. Kasno, kuma moja, rasprodano.
- Već?
- Da već! Pa šta in je petnajst karata prodat. Bila je i premijera baleta u teatru neku večer, rasprodane sve tri predstave. Tribalo bi se skakat ka leopard na te karte.
- Znači, svi ćemo u ludaru završit, to ti je. Tribaš vidit jadnu mladost navečer. Kad zatvore butige, čekaju u redovima po benzinskima, isprid trafika... S kesama se vuku do zidića, eno puna Matejuška ka usrid lita.
- Znaš da san jedno pridvečer na klupi tu na Rivi vidila tri žene, ono u zrelim godinama, sređene tip top, smiju se i lipo piju iz unučića ka zidari na pauzi. Pa čekaj, da to nije prizor, a?
- A e. Biće bila tiha pridvečer. Pred kišu.
- Nekidan san prošla priko Firula posrid podne, pun mulet mladosti ka da in je jutro posli maturalne. Nabrijali muziku, udrili po pivama i ajram bajram. Vamo picigin i mali balun, dva, tri se kupaju, matere s kolicima, starije ekipe u zavjetrini se smiju. Pravi party. Ma odvalili su više svi, 'nti stožer i epidemiju, ja ti mislin da se ljudi škapulavaju mozgon. Lipo se vidi da je otpa okvir sa života isto ka da se slika rasula po zidu. Dica nemaju nikakve aktivnosti, bez sporta, doma bulje u ekrane...
Beroševa evaulacija
- E, i nekidan slušan onog Božinovića, pitaju ga zašto se može u toplice, on govori da klora štiti od virusa. Pa, čoviče, to ti treneri plivanja govore misecima, pariš lud. Ostavili su da može trenirat samo sportaš prve kategorije, a u plivanju ima jedan jedini, eeeej. Slušan onog Beroša, sad mu je najnovija rič evaluiramo, evaluirat ćemo... Pastorčićka ga lipo pita zašto je dozvoljeno uzet kavu u slastičarnicama i pumpama, a ne može u kafiću, a on joj govori da se mladi ne zadržavaju na pumpama, ona njemu opet da se stvaraju redovi i da onda svejedno odu svi skupa i da se događa baš ono šta žele izbjeć, a on njoj da treba evaluirat. Ma daaj, više, mućnite glavon, mislin se...
-...u svojoj glavi, ahahah.
- E. Svoju glavu triba zadržat na ramenu, ali teško je, kužiš. Ispralo nas. Ljudi bucaju svašta. Kad su ono brojke rasle, jbga, priznaj da smo govorili šta nas ne zatvaraju. Mislin, Plenković se toga isto sitija, znaš. Ispalo in je ka nacrtano, razumiš, zatvorili i počelo padat. A moglo je ka i u Sloveniji, zatvorili a ne pada ništa. Govore sad da ima bit tamo neki slovenski soj korone. A mi samo kava pa kava u kafiću. Jesmo l' malo ćuknuti isto, a?
- Nemoj se navuć na to nipošto. Nije to kava, to je potriba za drugin čeljadetom. Pa ne mogu po Kozjaku tražit smilje, šta? Oćemo počet sa zmijama pričat ka ona jedna munjena šta je bila u novine? Ja san već skrenila, peglan ka nikad u životu.
- Opa, pa ti stvarno imaš dijagnozu.
- E, a kad udre kiša dođen i do bičava.
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Zašto danas nemamo ručka, zašto je sve u kući ostalo na po posla?
- Kako to misliš?
- Pa isto ka da je udrija zračni napad. Ostaviše sve i nastade bežanija. Usisivač na hodniku, daska za peglanje posred sobe, dvi gomile robe za pranje...
- Aaaa to. A čuj, sutra će kiša.
- Kiša?
- E. Šta gledaš tupo u mene? Čim je sunce provirilo trkala san ka luda na Rivu.
Gospođe s unučićima
Ovo mi prepričava prijateljica obiteljski skeč kad smo se trefile u šetnji. Pola naroda šta sam srela govori isto. Sutra će kiša, brale, dobro smo izletili. Splićani masovno izašli na sunce, posli se traže u fotogalerijama po portalima. Puni su zidići, na Prokurativama dica igraju balun ka prije pola stoljeća, skejteri skaču po Đardinu, Koteksu, isprid Jokera. Štekati u lancima kao roblje stisnuti, po njima i ispod njih ispražnjene zgužvane kartonske čaše i plastični poklopci, opušci, slamke... Uz more teku rijeke šetača, tamo amo, cvrkuću djeca, biciklisti zveckaju da im se makneš s puta ili ti samo prolete kraj ramena ka tajfun.
- E, jes nas vidija, stožer ovo, stožer ono, a ljudi se počeli vladat ka mravi kad ono odaju organizirano u potragu za hranom. Mi svi ka bez mozga na one prozore s kavom u koloni, razmilimo se okolo, a onda opet navečer u rupe...
- Ima li ičega navečer po gradu? Jooo, da je izać negdi.
- Ima. Koncert u Tončićevoj.
- Izvrsno.
- Ma šta izvrsno. Kasno, kuma moja, rasprodano.
- Već?
- Da već! Pa šta in je petnajst karata prodat. Bila je i premijera baleta u teatru neku večer, rasprodane sve tri predstave. Tribalo bi se skakat ka leopard na te karte.
- Znači, svi ćemo u ludaru završit, to ti je. Tribaš vidit jadnu mladost navečer. Kad zatvore butige, čekaju u redovima po benzinskima, isprid trafika... S kesama se vuku do zidića, eno puna Matejuška ka usrid lita.
- Znaš da san jedno pridvečer na klupi tu na Rivi vidila tri žene, ono u zrelim godinama, sređene tip top, smiju se i lipo piju iz unučića ka zidari na pauzi. Pa čekaj, da to nije prizor, a?
- A e. Biće bila tiha pridvečer. Pred kišu.
- Nekidan san prošla priko Firula posrid podne, pun mulet mladosti ka da in je jutro posli maturalne. Nabrijali muziku, udrili po pivama i ajram bajram. Vamo picigin i mali balun, dva, tri se kupaju, matere s kolicima, starije ekipe u zavjetrini se smiju. Pravi party. Ma odvalili su više svi, 'nti stožer i epidemiju, ja ti mislin da se ljudi škapulavaju mozgon. Lipo se vidi da je otpa okvir sa života isto ka da se slika rasula po zidu. Dica nemaju nikakve aktivnosti, bez sporta, doma bulje u ekrane...
Beroševa evaulacija
- E, i nekidan slušan onog Božinovića, pitaju ga zašto se može u toplice, on govori da klora štiti od virusa. Pa, čoviče, to ti treneri plivanja govore misecima, pariš lud. Ostavili su da može trenirat samo sportaš prve kategorije, a u plivanju ima jedan jedini, eeeej. Slušan onog Beroša, sad mu je najnovija rič evaluiramo, evaluirat ćemo... Pastorčićka ga lipo pita zašto je dozvoljeno uzet kavu u slastičarnicama i pumpama, a ne može u kafiću, a on joj govori da se mladi ne zadržavaju na pumpama, ona njemu opet da se stvaraju redovi i da onda svejedno odu svi skupa i da se događa baš ono šta žele izbjeć, a on njoj da treba evaluirat. Ma daaj, više, mućnite glavon, mislin se...
-...u svojoj glavi, ahahah.
- E. Svoju glavu triba zadržat na ramenu, ali teško je, kužiš. Ispralo nas. Ljudi bucaju svašta. Kad su ono brojke rasle, jbga, priznaj da smo govorili šta nas ne zatvaraju. Mislin, Plenković se toga isto sitija, znaš. Ispalo in je ka nacrtano, razumiš, zatvorili i počelo padat. A moglo je ka i u Sloveniji, zatvorili a ne pada ništa. Govore sad da ima bit tamo neki slovenski soj korone. A mi samo kava pa kava u kafiću. Jesmo l' malo ćuknuti isto, a?
- Nemoj se navuć na to nipošto. Nije to kava, to je potriba za drugin čeljadetom. Pa ne mogu po Kozjaku tražit smilje, šta? Oćemo počet sa zmijama pričat ka ona jedna munjena šta je bila u novine? Ja san već skrenila, peglan ka nikad u životu.
- Opa, pa ti stvarno imaš dijagnozu.
- E, a kad udre kiša dođen i do bičava.
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19. svibanj 2024 13:34
