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[title] => Krešo je jedva prošao s tri, a uporno od bake traži ‘ajfon‘. ‘Kupi mi, ionako te mama i tata žele strpati u dom...‘
[alias] => kreso-je-jedva-prosao-s-tri-a-od-bake-trazi-ajfon-nije-pristala-kupi-mi-mama-i-tata-te-zele-smjestiti-u-dom
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Vedrana Rudan je na svom blogu objavila zanimljivu pričicu:
“Alo, nona?”
“Alo! Što ti treba?”
“Treba mi ajfon 11, bolje nego da mi kupiš četrnaesticu…”
“Krešo!”
“Šta?”
“Kako možeš od mene tražit takve pizdarije, jedva si s tri prošao…”
“Nona, ne pizdi, ja trebam tebi ne ti meni…”
“Spustit ću ti slušalicu…”
“A onda nećeš znati što ti se sprema…”
“Što mi se sprema?”
“Da.”
“Što mi se sprema?”
“Oćeš mi kupit ajfon?”
“Ne.”
“Strpat će te u dom.”
“Tko će me strpati u dom? O čemu ti govoriš?”
“Jučer smo išli gledati tri domova.”
“Tri doma.”
“Dobro, jučer smo gledali ona doma. Smrde na drek i pišaku a ljudi su stari i sjede u kolicima i jedan me pitao, daj mi cigaretu, nisam mu dao jer ja ne pušim kad su starci blizu, a da starci znaju da imam cigarete znali bi da pušim, mogao sam onom noniću dati cigaretu, ali sam se bojao tate i mame…”
---
---
“Krešo!”
“Šta?”
“O čemu ti govoriš?”
“Bili smo u onim domima jer će tata i mama tebe strpati u dom a mi ćemo ići u tvoju kuću jer je velika a naš stan je rupa pa ćemo je iznajmiti studentima za osamsto eura ili Ukrajincima, mama je rekla da ako budemo imali sreće da Ukrajincima, ako Rusi bace atomsku bombu onda će skočiti stanarine…”
“Krešo.”
“Šta?”
“Tko ti to govori?”
“Šta?”
“Tko ti spominje Ukrajince i atomsku bombu i stanarine i dom?”
“Tata.”
“Ne mama?”
“Ne. Tata i mama. Kad smo bili u domu je jedna teta hranila jednu nonu i rekla joj je, žderi, piška mater…”
“Krešo!”
“A onda je tata rekao, gospođo, kako se to izražavate, to su živi ljudi, a onda je teta rekla, koja si ti kuraca, šta ovdje radiš ti, piška mater.”
“Krešo!”
“Mama je rekla, ovo ćemo prijaviti. Tata je rekao, kome, nemaju radne snage. Mama je rekla, ne znaju ni starce poslati u pičku materinu, tata je rekao, moja će stara morati naučiti makedonski ili ukrajinski, ahahaha, piška mater.”
“Krešo!”
“I onda je mama rekla, nikad tvoja stara neće htjeti ovamo, ovo je strašno, tata je rekao, tko će je pitati, oduzet ćemo joj sposobnosti, pa će se pitati samo mene…”
“Krešo!”
“Mama je rekla, ne možeš joj oduzeti poslovna sposobnost kad je žena pri sebi…”
“Krešo!”
“Onda je u onom domu jedan barba se podrignujo pa su mu ispali zubi, pa je jedna teta ih digla sa poda pa mu ih je gurnula u usta i rekla, ne zajebuj, piška meter tebi tvoja, stari prdono, a mama je rekla, vidiš ti ovo, a traže dvije tisuće eura mjesečno, nisu normalni… Tata je rekao, neka košta što košta, ja više ne želim biti u onoj rupetini.”
“Krešo!”
“Ja mislim da će ti oduzeti one sposobnosti ako mi ne kupiš ajfon.”
“Kako to misliš?”
“Mama je rekla, a što ako stara proda kuću i odseli?”
“Krešo, to je strašno što si mi ispričao, to je tužno, zašto bih ti kupila ajfon? Ja sam tužna i pretužna…”
“Kupi mi ajfon, ja sam ti našao agenciju, oni će ti uzeti za prodaju kuće tri posto, ako preko njih kupiš gasinjeru za drugu kupnju dva posto, pa pobjegni na tajnu adresu kao u seriji, pa ću ti moći dolaziti u posjete. Ako mi ne kupiš ajfon morat ćeš naučiti ukrajinski ili makedonski ili filipinski…”
“Krešo, dogovoreno. Piška mater!”
Sve priče i komune Vedrane Rudan možete naći OVDJE.
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Vedrana Rudan je na svom blogu objavila zanimljivu pričicu:
“Alo, nona?”
“Alo! Što ti treba?”
“Treba mi ajfon 11, bolje nego da mi kupiš četrnaesticu…”
“Krešo!”
“Šta?”
“Kako možeš od mene tražit takve pizdarije, jedva si s tri prošao…”
“Nona, ne pizdi, ja trebam tebi ne ti meni…”
“Spustit ću ti slušalicu…”
“A onda nećeš znati što ti se sprema…”
“Što mi se sprema?”
“Da.”
“Što mi se sprema?”
“Oćeš mi kupit ajfon?”
“Ne.”
“Strpat će te u dom.”
“Tko će me strpati u dom? O čemu ti govoriš?”
“Jučer smo išli gledati tri domova.”
“Tri doma.”
“Dobro, jučer smo gledali ona doma. Smrde na drek i pišaku a ljudi su stari i sjede u kolicima i jedan me pitao, daj mi cigaretu, nisam mu dao jer ja ne pušim kad su starci blizu, a da starci znaju da imam cigarete znali bi da pušim, mogao sam onom noniću dati cigaretu, ali sam se bojao tate i mame…”
---
---
“Krešo!”
“Šta?”
“O čemu ti govoriš?”
“Bili smo u onim domima jer će tata i mama tebe strpati u dom a mi ćemo ići u tvoju kuću jer je velika a naš stan je rupa pa ćemo je iznajmiti studentima za osamsto eura ili Ukrajincima, mama je rekla da ako budemo imali sreće da Ukrajincima, ako Rusi bace atomsku bombu onda će skočiti stanarine…”
“Krešo.”
“Šta?”
“Tko ti to govori?”
“Šta?”
“Tko ti spominje Ukrajince i atomsku bombu i stanarine i dom?”
“Tata.”
“Ne mama?”
“Ne. Tata i mama. Kad smo bili u domu je jedna teta hranila jednu nonu i rekla joj je, žderi, piška mater…”
“Krešo!”
“A onda je tata rekao, gospođo, kako se to izražavate, to su živi ljudi, a onda je teta rekla, koja si ti kuraca, šta ovdje radiš ti, piška mater.”
“Krešo!”
“Mama je rekla, ovo ćemo prijaviti. Tata je rekao, kome, nemaju radne snage. Mama je rekla, ne znaju ni starce poslati u pičku materinu, tata je rekao, moja će stara morati naučiti makedonski ili ukrajinski, ahahaha, piška mater.”
“Krešo!”
“I onda je mama rekla, nikad tvoja stara neće htjeti ovamo, ovo je strašno, tata je rekao, tko će je pitati, oduzet ćemo joj sposobnosti, pa će se pitati samo mene…”
“Krešo!”
“Mama je rekla, ne možeš joj oduzeti poslovna sposobnost kad je žena pri sebi…”
“Krešo!”
“Onda je u onom domu jedan barba se podrignujo pa su mu ispali zubi, pa je jedna teta ih digla sa poda pa mu ih je gurnula u usta i rekla, ne zajebuj, piška meter tebi tvoja, stari prdono, a mama je rekla, vidiš ti ovo, a traže dvije tisuće eura mjesečno, nisu normalni… Tata je rekao, neka košta što košta, ja više ne želim biti u onoj rupetini.”
“Krešo!”
“Ja mislim da će ti oduzeti one sposobnosti ako mi ne kupiš ajfon.”
“Kako to misliš?”
“Mama je rekla, a što ako stara proda kuću i odseli?”
“Krešo, to je strašno što si mi ispričao, to je tužno, zašto bih ti kupila ajfon? Ja sam tužna i pretužna…”
“Kupi mi ajfon, ja sam ti našao agenciju, oni će ti uzeti za prodaju kuće tri posto, ako preko njih kupiš gasinjeru za drugu kupnju dva posto, pa pobjegni na tajnu adresu kao u seriji, pa ću ti moći dolaziti u posjete. Ako mi ne kupiš ajfon morat ćeš naučiti ukrajinski ili makedonski ili filipinski…”
“Krešo, dogovoreno. Piška mater!”
Sve priče i komune Vedrane Rudan možete naći OVDJE.
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12. svibanj 2024 11:07
